How to Make Your Community a Safe(r) Space

Kink in the Real World

There has been a lot of talk about creating safer spaces. I started this series as a sort of informal how-to, simply garnered from my own thinky-thoughts and thousands of other posts and discussions about these matters. I think kink communities are, currently, irreparably broken. I think that FetLife’s culture of silence and excuse and enable, when it comes to predators and violators, perpetuates that brokenness. In short, I think we’re doing it wrong, and it’s time to start over, and do it better. I hope that, perhaps, some folks can use parts of these posts as templates. These were originally posted on FetLife, beginning in July of 2014.

Part 1

Four or five years ago, there weren’t an awful lot of conversations going on about consent, about predators, about abuse. As you know, if you’re reading this, much has changed. I doubt there are many communities that haven’t felt…

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