Marriage Equality

I woke up this morning, sleepily made my way to my computer, turned on Orange Is The New Black (I’m behind the rest of the nation in my Netflix viewing), and started browsing Facebook while I ate breakfast and took my pills. And then I had to stop everything, because I read that SCOTUS passed marriage equality.

Found on Believe Out Loud's Facebook page
Found on Believe Out Loud’s Facebook page

And I started crying.

I’m so happy.

I’ve been married for a decade now, so it may not seem like such a huge deal personally. But when Eren came out to me, one of our first worries was whether we’d be one of the couples forcibly divorced. We didn’t live in California, but we’d heard of such horror stories from other states–one spouse coming out as transgender, the State not liking that, and boom: divorced.

During this fight for marriage equality, we’ve never lived in a state where our marriage, post-coming-out, was legal. It’s been a strange sort of limbo. On the one hand, we’ve enjoyed the privileges of what has appeared to the State as a heterosexual union. On the other, we never knew–until now–whether that union might be suddenly severed against our will. It seemed unlikely to happen, but stranger things have happened, and even an ‘unlikely’ care is still a care added to the pile.

There are still worries. Our state–our land–still does not have full workplace protections for LGBTQIA persons. We still do not have full public accommodations and housing protections for LGBTQIA persons, we still have a youth homelessness issue for young LGBTQIA persons whose parents/guardians are intolerant. We still have a huge suicide issue, particularly for bisexual and transgender persons, and we still must work toward equality particularly for transgender women of color. We’re still fighting for the right to pee in peace, to express and identify as we please and as we are.

But today–we have the right to show our love, to stop worrying about being forcibly divorced, to visit our spouses in hospitals, to adopt one another’s children, to have children together, to share insurance, and all the other benefits granted to the married. Today is a good day.

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